"The police report says he tapped his foot, which means 'I want gay sex.' It also means I'll never wear my iPod to the bathroom again" ("Jimmy Kimmel Live").

"I may not be the best spokesman for 'my people', but nobody seems ever to have taught me this code.  Since no well-adjusted gay people I know do this, maybe the foot-tapping really means 'I want sketchy closeted sex.' " (unidentified friend in Baghdad)