T. Devine, Tue, Mar 28, 2006 at 7:52 PM
Agnosticism v. Athiesm
I think this one sort of speaks for itself. How's the corporate world? - T

P. McDermott, Tue, Mar 28, 2006 at 8:12 PM
Stultifying, as usual. Have done nothing this afternoon, except obsess about law schools. www.lawschoolnumbers.com. HEALTHY!

TJ, why won't UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan return my calls?

UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan was TOTALLY nice at the bar, all suave and sweet-talking. UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan said that UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan would treat me with respect, would look after my needs, and would be there for me. UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan was the only one.

Granted, I was drunk, and UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan wasn't helping. One mojito too many, and there I was, leaning on UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan and talking about my dreams of law school and that BITCH undergrad (we never got along anyway) and how I'm *soooooo* much better off on my own now and ready to move on. Then, before I know it, UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan was saying that it didn't ALWAYS have to turn out that way, that some schools were different... special... that it didn't have to turn out like it did last time.

Next thing I know, I did it - I applied. I was weak, but I did it anyway. I scrawled my personal statement on the back of a cocktail napkin(1) , and for the next three months, it was all promise, all good times. Nothing could go wrong.

Then it started to come apart. There were rumors of early decisions, other applicants, people getting in before I did. Initially, I didn't give it too much thought.

I'm only human, though, and you can't shut out rumors like that forever. People had letters... letters, for crying out loud! Big fat manila envelopes. Even though UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan kept saying that it meant nothing, that 'applications were reviewed in the order they were received,' I knew exactly what those envelopes contained - betrayal!

I tried to confront UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan about my feelings, but UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan just retreated. I know UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan said "Your file has been completed, we will inform you of our decision in six to eight weeks," but it may as well have been "I don't love you. In fact, I've never loved you. I was just using you to look good in front of those other applicants. Now that I've got them, I don't NEED you anymore. Now that I think about it, I never did."

I might have lost it at that point. I ran back to the University of Indiana briefly, but it wasn't like it was before. It was totally a rebound application, and we both knew it. Shallow and unfulfilling. I mean, seriously, what did I expect for no application fee? Still, it just made matters worse. I eventually found myself sitting at home alone on Friday nights, eating Hagen Daaz and checking the Law School Admission Council website, just to see if UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan had responded in any way. Pathetic.

I'm trying to get my life back on track now, but it's hard. I'm stuck in this total blackout - it's like the last six months of my life are some weight on my chest.

Why won't UCLA/Duke/Chicago/Michigan return my calls? It's like they don't care... or never cared to begin with... *sob*

-P

(1) No, seriously, I actually outlined a draft of my personal statement on cocktail napkins at a bar.